I have come across people turning from cool to mean in a second over the years. So I wanted to understand what’s under the hood. I wondered what could be the driving force behind meanness – so I started thinking about it. Here’s what I found
Humans are creatures driven by emotions. That’s the pumping centre on our being – emotions. Change how a person feels and they will change how they talk to you.
See, rudeness is not much off. People become rude or mean when they feel insecure. This word is a little abstract, so let us break it down a little: If a person feels threatened, their natural reaction is to look after themselves – to try and give the idea that they aren’t afraid. It is a natural defence mechanism. They use rudeness to convince the ‘intruder’ that I can rip you into slices right now, you stupid moron! – While they are shrinking inside. But if a person does not recognise a threat, they’d go on as usual.
Insecurity extends to a number of things. If you make them feel like they will lose what they have, they may become rude. Or if you make them feel like they are not sufficient, they may try to prove to you that they are. A person embracing insecurity does not want to feel like they are or would be judged.
Rude people are afraid of not being in control. They are terrified of not being seen as ‘powerful’. So they use harshness to reaffirm themselves and their subjects that they are still in charge.
My aim is not to mess with people’s emotion, so when I sense rudeness coming my way, I try to see how to make them see again.